introspections...

Friday, 03 July 2009

  • Never Again

    Never love again.

    There's no need to be hurt. There's no need to put time and effort into people that don't realize that you love them.
    There's no need to try to hold on to friends that aren't friends to begin with. There's no need to try so hard when no one else is trying at all. There's really no need for anything, you know.
    You can just lock up your heart in a chest, a beautiful chest of gold with gems and a large silver lock.
    It will lay there, quiet, calm, unaffected, whole. Finally, SAFE.

    You don't ever have to feel like this ever again.
    Seriously, why do you repeatedly run to pain? Don't make the same mistakes over and over again, like a dog returning to its vomit. Be wise. Be smart. You can get rid of it all just by closing the top of the chest. Just by turning the lock in the key.

    Don't be stupid.

    Obviously love isn't worth it. Even successful friendships and relationships have issues. Love obviously isn't enough for happily ever after. Nothing is. So why bother wasting your life to get happily ever after when the scars on your heart painfully remind you that there is no such thing?

    Do you need to be knocked in the head one more time before you realize this?

    ... I do.



Sunday, 15 February 2009

  • I was reading some of my old xanga entries from years ago...
    Wow.
    I don't remember half of those things. Good thing I wrote them down...
    Seems sad. I wonder how many days and moments I've forgotten... and have no record of.
    It's like they never existed.

    ...

    When I read my diary I wrote in my notebook in high school, I sound like the most depressed angry kid in the world. But then I went and read my xanga entries from that time and... wow. I sound so hyper and airheaded. Welcome to high school... show your happy face and die inside. Hungh. So glad it's over.

    On that thrilling note,
    this year's Valentine's Day passed in a flurry, so much so in fact that I didn't even have the time to put in my usual two cents of cynicism. Perhaps that was a good thing, because I was too busy with an INSANE amount of schoolwork and so had no time to even think about it. Why I am blogging right now is beyond me... I have so much work to do, it's ridiculous.


Thursday, 05 February 2009

  • so xanga is pretty much dying out... mine is, anyway.
    which is good, cuz I like to muse here... and it's really random... and some people might think I'm psycho...
    except... well, if you think about it... all the thoughts that go through our heads would sound really crazy if we said all of them out loud... hmm.

    anyway.

    So God has been yelling at me for the past few months... and I didn't hear Him at all.
    Until today. After I made an extraordinarily bad decision, even for me.
    And then I jolted awake from a nap this afternoon to the sound of God's voice, the voice I had been studiously ignoring. It finally broke through.

    I'm not really sure what I should do at this point.
    But I feel like the best place to start would be on my knees.
    I guess it's the only way to start, too.

    I have an interview for UGA school of pharmacy next week.
    I'm terrified.



Sunday, 11 January 2009

Thursday, 25 December 2008

  • Miss Emma Watson, aka Hermione, turned 18 this year.
    She started dating a 25-year-old banker at her birthday party.
    She now has access to her 10-million-dollar fortune.

    How convenient for the banker.

    Welcome to Hollywood.
    And I actually liked her.


Monday, 15 December 2008

  • I don't need you to
    Tell me I'm pretty to make me feel beautiful
    I don't need you to
    Give me your strength to make me feel I'm strong

    I got all of this strength that I need here
    Inside my own two hands
    All that I want is your love and respect for who I am
    What I really need
    Comes from deep inside of me

    Don't need you to tell me I'm pretty
    To make me feel beautiful, no
    Don't need you to make me strong
    Cause I’m strong all on my own
    Doesn't come from outside
    This beauty I know
    Comes from inside my soul

    Don't need you to tell me I'm pretty

    I don't need you to
    Believe in me to make me know I'm worth believing in
    I don't need you to
    Lift me up high to know I can stand tall

    I can stand my own ground
    I can stand proud upon my own two feet
    Don't have to be part of somebody else
    To be complete
    What I really need
    Comes from deep inside of me

    Don't need to come to you for confirmation
    Because I finally found to this revelation
    What I really need
    I’m gonna find inside of me
    Not in somebody else
    Respect comes when you respect yourself

    Don't need you to tell me I'm pretty
    To make me feel beautiful
    Don't need you to make me strong
    Cause I’m strong all on my own
    Doesn't come from outside
    This beauty I know
    Comes from inside my soul

    Don't need you to tell me I’m pretty
    To know I’m beautiful



    -- Don't Need You to Tell Me... Samantha Mumba

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hyejineeee

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    • Name: Lydia [HyeJineeee~]
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    • Member Since: 9/13/2003

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